Embracing the Wisdom of Joining Others IRL (In Real Life)
If there’s one thing the isolation of COVID taught me, it’s the value of gathering once again with others. Not only is it exhilarating to be with others to enjoy a meal, conversation, or film, it’s actually healthier for us at an individual and national level. This blew me away.
Ongoing research by Harvard’s Robert Putnam, author of the groundbreaking book Bowling Alone, not only shows a precipitous decline in Americans “joining” clubs and organizations, but also a marked health benefit for those who do.
“Your chances of dying within the next year are cut in half by joining one group!” Putnam proclaims in the 2024 film, Join or Die, updating his research from 2000.
I remember in 2000 when Putnam’s book first came out, chronicling the collapse of community in America. Alarmed by his findings, I even wrote and taught about it a few times. But then I moved on. I forgot the impact that his work had on me. With the rise of the Internet and social media in the quarter century since his book was first published, these trends have only worsened. The gap has widened.
But the trends can be reversed.
In my own life, joining with others at my church, TED events, and MEA workshops, seminars and gatherings has reinforced for me the value of communal experiences. I came to MEA, the worlds first midlife wisdom school, when online courses were all that was possible, but I’ve flourished now that I can attend in person workshops and alumni gatherings.
Yes, I admit, I’m an extrovert and thrive on being with others, but even introverts have shared with me the value they find in being a part of something larger than themselves, even if they approach gatherings with a different set of tools than I. We all draw value when we are with others, enjoying shared experience, expanding our horizons.
Somewhat ironically the four SF Bay Area MEA chapter leaders and I met resistance as we planned a screening of the documentary, Join or Die, which updates Putnam’s work in a provocative new way. This award-winning film is available on Netflix, and some told us “I can just watch it on my own for free.” Yet, the point is that we want to have a communal experience and learn from one another before, during, and after the screening. We’ve even arranged a brief interview with two startup founders, Saum Gupta and Colton Heward-Mills, who have created BuildIRL, specifically to empower others to found thriving clubs that meet IRL (In Real Life).
So…if you’re in the Bay Area, come join us on Friday, March 28, register at this link. The $25 fee covers the price of the film screening and the refreshments. If that price is an impediment, drop me an email. We have funds to cover your ticket costs.
If you’re not in the Bay Area, I invite you to organize your own viewing party. Then discuss, as we will, “Where can I put my time or talent to use? What can I join?”
Our health and that of our nation depend on it.
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JD Schramm writes, speaks, teaches, and coaches on a wide range of communication topics. He’s been an avid member of the MEA community since taking his first course, Navigating Transitions, in the winter of 2021. He and his husband, Ken Daigle, co-taught Roadmap to Your Soul’s Expression, in Baja with Chip Conley in 2023. In 2024, he was part of the “Rohring Elders” cohort who benefited from learning together, quite literally, at the feet of Richard Rohr. You can read more about his midlife metamorphosis here.
